Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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