I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
