This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
