when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
