i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I FOUND THE LEGS
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
