I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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