This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
