8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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