Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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