real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
