if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I skipped work to stalk him.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
