Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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