today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
