I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
