walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
