I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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