My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
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