I cut my penus on the lid.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
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