We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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