The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
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