So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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