yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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