matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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