if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
