Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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