last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
