I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
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I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
