I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
