i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
