3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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