3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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