Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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