My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
