erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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