Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
