Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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