I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
