Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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