K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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