I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
