absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
