i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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