She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
