I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize