I smell stomach acid.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
