Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Swine flu is the new snow day.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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