As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
