Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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