I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize