community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just gift wrapped bread.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
