im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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