i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
