why didn't you poke me back
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Randomize
