I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
