I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
