she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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