Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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