How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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