well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
