4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
