I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
