my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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