The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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