Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
